A MOTHER TO A SON’S EYES
Just a couple of months right now, I’ve checked some of the papers in the cabinet out of curiosity. I, looking for something to do that rainy morning, hoped that I would find something about my childhood memoirs. Instead, I found this old notebook, an organizer, and as I read each page, I realized that it was my mom’s. it served as her diary and as I continue, I discovered my mother as a lively woman of her age. I have gone to the pages where her close friends are listed accompanied by a faded photograph of them smiling, the part where she told her stories of love and also of failure. I found myself creating a whole new figure out of the one I thought that I know about her.
I am never been close to my father, I never was. I am like more comfortable with her. My mother, Christina, whoever may have say, is the best mother that I would ever have in the whole world. She is loving, understanding, patient, what more can you say about mothers? She left her job the moment she gave life to me to commit herself into a more important duty: to be a committed mother. She nurtured us when we’re little, she endured those days making sure that we learned every lesson of life. I am not what I am now without her being my lamp.
I remember the times when she tells anecdotes of the days we were younger. How I see her eyes twinkle and her face becomes more radiant every time she reminisces those days. I can’t help myself but to listen and be amused.
I remember the times when she is joyful whenever I bring home accomplishments and awards. She appreciates very much giving her rewards for those years she up brought us. She is the reason why I keep myself on pushing what I’ve got. Every medal and certificate I bag are always for her.
I remember the times when she gives us advice or the sermons every parent will utter. I regret those times that I am ignorant and immature. I am foolish to shout at her and do not realize that I’m actually hurting her.
I broke into tears, letting it down onto my face when I crossed at the page that marked November 6, 1989. I sought myself for a ball point pen and wrote down: “Two years from now, I will be born. Thanks to you, I love always. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done wrong. I love you Mama, I’ll always do.”
I remember one day, her body broke down and she needs to be admitted to a hospital. My mom is our all-around manager of the house. She’s the one who budgets the money wisely, who takes care of our things, and who gives us tender-loving caress. You know, it may not be what we call an accomplishment but, hey, living a life having someone there to bother your stuff makes my days hard without her. But, interestingly, I live through all of that days and nights all by myself.
I learned to rise early at the morning without someone to wake me up.
I learned to separate colored shirts from the white ones before doing laundry on them.
I learned to turn off the iron the moment I’ll be already done ironing the clothes.
I learned to rinse the dishes twice so that there is no soap left intact.
I learned to measure the water level using my index finger before cooking the rice.
But I never learned anything at all.
I don’t know why my mom keeps on smiling.
I don’t know why my mom never seems to look tired.
I don’t know why my mom knows almost everything.
Until that one intimate mother-son conversation, I remember her saying, “Do you know why I am not complaining? Do you know why I am the one who takes of your clothes, of your food, of everything you are? It does not matter whether it’s tiresome or not. It is the least I can do for you being your mother. It is because I love you.”
I broke down in tears. And there, I said to myself that I will study hard, that is the least I can do for her. I replied to her, “Don’t you worry, mom. All your sacrifices will bear fruits. I won’t let you down.” it is because I love her.
I wish I could have given her more than just plain appreciation. My love for her as a son is not enough compared to her love for the three of us. Now, I live the days to pay back to her not as a sign of gratitude but as a sign of an everlasting love. I don’t want to be a burden to her but be a man she wants me to be and the one she will be proud of.
I learned to pray a lot more.
I learned that I need to live a week without my mom to realize that she will never be there for us for always.
I learned to love her even more.
-Mothers’ Day falls on the month of May, coincidentally; her birthday falls on the same month. Mama, happy Mothers’ Day and Happy Birthday to you. Happy Mothers’ day to all mothers around the Globe!
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